Slavcionica Part 1

2001 HRT Translated by Morana Ropac. Edited by Nancy Lion-Storm. June 2005. (As you can see, the show starts with a humorous sketch that intermixes scenes from “ER” with scenes filmed during the making of this interview. Goran Visnjic, dressed as Luka Kovac, is shown taking Svlacionic’s host, Robert Knjaz, for surgery. Later, you will see a segment called, “Witnesses.” In that portion of the show various witnesses – friends and/or acquaintances of the guest being interviewed – are filmed making statements about that guest. Then later, while being interviewed, the guest is asked to comment on those statements. I’ll now translate the parts of the show that are in Croatian and add personal notes inside of parentheses. - M.R.) Scene: Sibenik Hospital Knjaz: Where are you taking me? Visnjic: Oh, you’re going to the psych department. Knjaz: Doctor, will I live? Visnjic: (looking at chart) Small chance. Visnjic: (reaching out his hand) Nurse, scalpel! Knjaz: No. No! Scene: The “Vox Populi” in Sibenik Interviewer: Do you know who Goran Visnjic is? 1st boy: No, we don’t. 2nd boy: Yeah, we do! He’s the famous actor from Sibenik! Man: Ehm… has dark hair, I think…. Don’t know if he’s tall, I think he’s tall, but on the other hand, he may not be…Err… Good looking, like a regular Hollywood star. 1st woman: Wonderful, and handsome. 2nd woman: Goran Visnjic? Co to ist? (This phrase might be in Czech, Slovak, or Polish, I’m not sure – But it means: Who is that?) 3rd woman: I don’t know, I’m not from here. Interviewer: Where are you from? 3rd woman: I’m from America! (She says jokingly, because she has a native Dalmatian accent.) Scene: Sibenik Hospital Knjaz: Doctor, ‘Luka’ is your nephew, but ‘Kovac’ you must have taken from Mate Miso Kovac. (He refers to the legendary Yugoslavian folk singer.) Visnjic: No, no! Knjaz: Why not? Visnjic: Although it does have some connection with him, that’s secondary, way secondary. I took the name ‘Kovac’ from my best friend, Luciano Kovac, that’s his surname. (Goran puts a hand on Knjaz’s forehead as if he’s feeling for a temperature.) Knjaz: Do I have a temperature? Visnjic: You’re all right. Knjaz: What is the worst illness you’ve ever had? Visnjic: Worst illness? Er, let me think… I can tell you few of them… Gastric ulcer was the most irritating one! It irritates you all the time. That’s the worst! Knjaz: You had problems with that, right? Visnjic: I had it operated on; cleaned it all up, taken out, fixed… Knjaz: Now you don’t have to worry about that anymore. Visnjic: No I don’t. Now if I need anything, I have free hospital care back in America, so I don’t need to worry. Knjaz: And by the best surgeons! Visnjic: At the best surgeon! Knjaz: Did you have to learn to do any thing on ER? Visnjic: To sew sutures. Knjaz: What did you suture? Who did you suture? Visnjic: I sutured … artificial skin. I had to practice that for ten days before shooting the scene. You see, that’s because the camera films every thing, and every body can see your hands, every thing you do, and then you must suture for real. Knjaz: And all we see on the screen is artificial skin? Visnjic: No, no. Sometimes a real doctor starts the first suture, so I don’t stick the patient. You have artificial skin on top of the real skin, so he makes the first suture and then we do this (demonstrating with his hands)…tying. And sometimes, when we do it completely on artificial skin, then we do every thing alone from beginning to end. Knjaz: And you’re not squeamish? Visnjic: Nooo… Especially when you know that it is artificial blood. It often happens that the pipes pumping the blood under the artificial skin get cut by accident, and then artificial blood starts splashing all over the place, including the ceiling. (Knjaz & Visnjic wait by a hospital elevator and address a surprised elderly man who exits the elevator.) Knjaz: Good afternoon. Visnjic: Good afternoon. Knjaz: Is it crowded up there? Visnjic: (To Knjaz) Come on, you’ll live! (In elevator) Knjaz: Do you now see doctors in a different light? Visnjic: Definitely! Knjaz: In what way? Visnjic: We visited the ER department of Los Angeles Hospital. That’s a county hospital, so I’m not talking about some luxury hospital with carefully selected patients. No, their patients mostly come from the street, traffic accidents, and similar… And that was obnoxious, man! You really have to have a strong stomach to work there, and a great deal of patience. For example, a drunken man comes in and you have to treat him, but he’s, like, punching you… and the doctors… I really admire them for their patience. You know by that time, I think, I would have already ‘cooled’ that guy off a few times. Knjaz: Does it often happen that people, perhaps elderly people, address you on the street, or at a tram station, and give you their medical history, or ask you for some kind of medical help? (They exit elevator.) Visnjic: Well, no, because they don’t have trams in Los Angeles. (Both laugh.) Knjaz: Yeah, of course. But I meant when you come to Zagreb, or Sibenik at a bus station maybe? Visnjic: Well… actually, no. People just often ask me what I would do – we’re going down there, right? (He says, consulting with the nurse) – what I would do if I found myself, for example, at the scene of a car accident. The first thing I would do is dial 911 from my cell phone. I mean, what could I possibly do? People study medicine 8 years to become doctors, so how could I now pretend to be a doctor, and play with people’s lives? You know what I mean? (They pass a man and a woman sitting in the corridor.) Woman: Look, here comes my neighbor! (Now addressing Goran) Hi, neighbor! Visnjic: Hello, there! See, I’m taking this poor guy upstairs. (Woman laughs as they go by.) Knjaz: I hope I’ll live! What say you, doctor? Will I live? Visnjic: (Looks at chart again, shakes his head ‘no’ and says) Small chance. Knjaz: Thanks a lot! That’s what I call a consolation! (Now comes the section in English – a discussion about pretty nurses.) Knjaz: (With panicky voice) Where are you taking me? Visnjic: Oh, you’re going to the psych department … did you know that first madhouse in Croatia was built in Sibenik? Knjaz: No kidding? Knjaz: What genre interests you the most? Visnjic: I would never work in television again, definitely! I mean after I finish with ER. Knjaz: Why? You think you would be marked forever as a TV actor? Visnjic: No, that’s not the reason. It’s just that it is too demanding, and you play the same character all the time, for three years! That’s three seasons, 22 episodes each season. That’s like 22 short movies each year. It’s just too much to play the same role; you get bored! Knjaz: I see… Do you have any ambitions to direct? You’ve said you admire Mel Gibson. Visnjic: Well… I haven’t thought about that yet… I would like to put some Croatian stories on the big screen, but it wouldn’t be anything about the recent war because I think it is still too early to film a good movie on that subject. Knjaz: Why do you think it is too early? Visnjic: Well, you can see that the best movies about World War II were filmed only recently. You know, a certain amount of time just has to pass. That’s why I like “Brave Heart” so much. I would like to film a few movies with stories set early in Croatian history. That would be more interesting than doing movies set in recent past. Knjaz: What part of Croatian history do you find most interesting? Visnjic: The Middle Ages… You know, battling the Turks, during the Austro-Hungarian period actually, not Austro-Hungarian, but before that… early Croatia (Note: 7th century AD – 1102 AD). Knjaz: Who’s your favorite historical character in Croatian history? Visnjic: Ehmmm… The Frankopan-Zrinjski family! Scene: Outside at a Park Navojec: I had the fortune to meet a lot of people from the Sibenik region and I can say that each one of them is crazy about singing their region’s songs, and about singing in general. (The word, “Witnesses” appears on the screen. Below that we see Navojec’s photo and name. A voice says: “First witness: Goran Navojec, Visnjic’s friend from the Academy.”) Navojec: We met, I think, in 1989 on the day we were to take the entrance exam for the Acting Academy. I come from Bjelovar, and we both had problems finding the Academy building, and that’s when we first met. (Suddenly we see, after Navojec’s statement, Goran sitting on some stairs.) Visnjic: (looking a little lost for words) “What can I say?” Navojec: He has this magnificent energy that everyone finds so fascinating. He always responds to everyone with a totally open heart. It was so easy to fall in love with him and to wish to have him as a friend. Visnjic: (Tapping the back of his head.) Well, thank you! Navojec: One of the most interesting things that happened was during sword practice. Once, I failed to block one of his attacks and his sword went straight into my mouth! Visnjic: (laughing) I hope he’s not still angry with that. See, here’s what happened: we weren’t even fencing for real (at Academy one has to pass a real fencing exam in order to graduate). We were always just fooling around with swords in the Academy hallways, like stupid kids -- Renkas (a nickname for Rene Bitorajec, another famous Croatian actor and their mutual friend), Gogo (a nickname for Goran Navojec) and me. We had a rule that you don’t aim above the neck, but my sword slipped a bit higher one day and went into his mouth and it went like this and this (Visnjic demonstrates by sticking a finger into his mouth)…. I went like: “God, I could have killed a man!” But, thank God, every thing was OK; luckily the sword point was capped, so Gogo wasn’t injured! Navojec: His favorite song is “Maslina” (“Olive Tree”), that I know for sure because that’s what we always have to sing when he’s around, “Zauvik je Pape Zaspa” (“Dad Has Fallen Asleep Forever”), and he also likes the “Dida moj” (“My Grandfather”) song, that Sibenik ballad… mostly songs from his home region. Visnjic: I love it when he is around when I sing because he always corrects me right away when I sing a little off key. Gogo is an educated musician and I just sing by ear and by how I feel. Every time we meet, 99% of the time we have to sing. That’s become for us like: “Hey, what’s up? Shall we sing?” (The words, “Favorite Movie Scenes” appears on the screen. Next, the words, “Brave Heart” appears on the left side of the screen with scenes from that movie, while you see Goran Visnjic talking on the right side of the screen.) Visnjic: Remember that scene in “Brave Heart” when Mel Gibson comes riding into a fortified English village; that slow motion scene? (The words, “2001: A Space Odyssey?” appears on the left side of the screen with scenes from that movie, while you see Goran Visnjic talking, in the right side of the screen.) Visnjic: Second, remember Kubrick’s “2001: A Space Odyssey?” (The word, “Tarzan” appears on the left side of the screen with scenes from that movie, while you see Goran Visnjic talking on the right side of the screen.) Visnjic: Tarzan diving into the water, Johnny Weissmuller, black and white. (GV does his own version of Tarzan’s famous call) Ah-a-a-a-a-ah! Scene: Outside Knjaz: Goran, are you inquisitive, you know, as a person? Visnjic: Ehm… Yes. Knjaz: You are, aren’t you? Visnjic: Yes. Knjaz: And now you’re curious who this lady over here is? Visnjic: Sure I am. Knjaz: What do you think? Who is she? Visnjic: I don’t know, for God’s sake. Knjaz: Will you tell him, Mrs.? Mrs. Jelena Stetalj: I’m the nurse that witnessed your birth; that delivered you. Visnjic: Oh God! Knjaz: This is your midwife! Visnjic: I can’t believe it! Nice to meet you! Mrs. Jelena Stetalj: Me to. You ask your mom and she’ll tell you! Knjaz: And you delivered this huge man? Stetalj: Well, he wasn’t this big at the time. Visnjic: Back then, ‘he’ was tiny. Knjaz: (to Goran) You don’t remember that, of course. Stetalj: Neither do I. Knjaz: And tell us, what was he like? Stetalj: I don’t remember. That was a long time ago. Knjaz: There were so many children, right? And can you tell right away when a child is born, that he or she will be an actor, for example? Stetalj: Yes, sure you can. Knjaz: Was he… Oh, yes, you can’t remember if he was crying. Stetalj: That was long time ago. Knjaz: And how do you feel now, knowing that you brought into this world so many now-famous and distinguished Sibenik citizens? Stetalj: Oh, you forget that with time. Knjaz: (now addressing Goran) And what does your mother have to say, about how you were like as a baby? Were you restless, did you cry a lot? Visnjic: Yes, a lot! Knjaz: You cried a lot! Visnjic: Yes, I cried a lot as a baby, or at least that’s what they told me. They also told me that I had an enormously big head. Knjaz: Again!? (This is a running joke with Knjaz because he is known to have a ‘big head’ complex that he likes to joke about. The scene that follows sometime afterwards, in which they are sitting in front of the Sibenik cathedral and complaining about their big heads, was probably shot before this scene and that’s why he says “Again”.) Visnjic: Again! Knjaz: Are you provoking me deliberately? Visnjic: No, no, no! Knjaz: Look at the two of us! How did we only just find each other! (He is alluding to them both having big heads.) Visnjic: “Nooooo, son, you don’t have big head, you don’t!” (While GV says this he uses his hand to show the extent of the size of a huge head. In this, he’s making reference to a well-known Croatian joke in which a father tries to convince his son that he doesn’t have a big head, all the while petting his son’s huge head.) Knjaz: (now addressing to Mrs. Jelena Stetalj) Do you have something that you want to say to him? Have you watched him on television? Stetalj: Sure, I have! Knjaz: Do you have something to say to him? Stetalj: No, I only want to tell him that he acted with my husband in the Theater. Visnjic: No kidding? Who is your husband? Stetalj: Dane Stetalj. Visnjic: Dane! Oh yes, of course! Knjaz: See that! A double link! Stetalj: Yes, yes. Knjaz: (to Goran) Hey, you must insist that they put more midwifes on ER! Knjaz: (to Mrs. Stetalj) Am I right? Stetalj: I don’t care any more. I’m retired! Knjaz: They have been neglected so far! Visnjic: Yes, you’re right. I’ll see what I can do! In next episode…we’ll figure something out. Knjaz: See, we’ve accomplished something! Goran met his midwife, and you’ve promoted midwife’s rights in the world! Scene: Walking Down a Street Knjaz: Tell me something more about your life here as a kid. Visnjic: Well you know every boy wants to become a pilot, astronaut and so forth. But when you go to school, and realize that to become a pilot you need to study a lot of physics and mathematics, you suddenly lose interest in it. But now I have a good chance to fulfill my boyhood dream, maybe. I even got a license to fly with the Thunderbirds, the acrobatic pilot group. Knjaz: No kidding? Visnjic: Yeah, with the U.S. Air Force, so I could even get up to G-16. I think I’ll seize this opportunity, if my wife lets me. Knjaz: U-u-u-U! Visnjic: She is not very fond of the idea, you know: “You’ve just started to earn money and now you plan on dying on me out there!” (Both men laugh.) (Note: According to a later American article, on February 24, 2001 Goran did in fact ride as passenger in one of the FA-18 Hornet fighter jets that is part of the U.S. Air Force Thunderbird Aviation Team. The jet flew at speeds exceeding 400 miles per hour, producing a G-force - gravity force - of G-16. G-1 is equal to the Earth’s normal gravity, so G-16 is sixteen times earth’s gravity. Goran said in that article that the pilot took the plane into several hairpin turns and even flew upside down.) Knjaz: Did you ever, as a boy, pull girls’ hair by the pigtails or do something else to tease them? Visnjic: No, see, I’ve never did that kind of thing. When we were in primary school boys always ran all over the place, trying to spank a girl from behind. I always thought like, “What’s the matter with you? If you’re a tough guy go with a girl somewhere around the corner where no one can see you and do a proper job.” Oh God, sorry, my tongue is faster than my mind… Ehm…. No, I never did that kind of stuff; I thought that was despicable. Knjaz: And what games did you like to play as a kid? Visnjic: We played football (soccer) all the time, but I was terrible at it. Knjaz: What a shame! Visnjic: Why a shame? Look at me; I’m two meters tall! Knjaz: So is Biscan! (Referring to a famous Croatian football player.) Visnjic: Yeah, but I have two left feet! The kids from the street would organize a football game, and, of course, neither team would pick ‘Goran’. And then my dad would come out and say, ”You have to let my boy play, too.” After that they would let me be goalkeeper, but when I failed to defend ten goals in ten minutes, then even my own father gave up on me and said, “Come on son…” Knjaz: (finishing Visnjic’s sentence for him) …go mind your own business. Scene: Sitting in Front of the Sibenik Cathedral (Note: One of the world’s important protected cultural objects, the Sibenik Cathedral is a stunning work of Renaissance art and was built by Juraj Dalmatinac - Juraj the Dalmatian - Croatia’s most famous Renaissance architect and sculptor. Out of its many fascinating details the most interesting is the world famous frieze made up of 71 heads that were personally sculpted by Juraj Dalmatinac. It is said that these heads portraits are of Juraj’s fellow citizens that passed by as he was sculpted.) Visnjic: I started to play basketball in high school. I really liked it, and I trained in water polo for few years, too. Knjaz: But didn’t you do anything interesting as a kid? Didn’t you chase chicks or steal? Visnjic: I did chase chicks, I’ve told you how: by protecting them. Knjaz: (teasing and playfully trying to provoke Visnjic) Didn’t play football? Were you a ‘special’ kid in school? Visnjic: Noo, I wasn’t. You know what I used to do? I used to spend, God knows how many hours daily, doing theatre. That was interesting for us. Do you know what the old Sibenik theatre looks like? Well, old. We don’t have a new one, but back then it was really old (he probably means not renovated). When you climb up to the old attic, first you have to know exactly where to step so you don’t fall through the ceiling’s fresco underfoot. You can find almost every thing there: old costumes, armor, and old stenography. It was amazing! It was the best playground you can imagine! When we did “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” they hooked these long ropes from the ceiling so we could swing from them! Hey, man, we could play Tarzan! You would climb up there, 7-8 meters high; grab a rope and - swiiiiing - all across the stage, up and down! Man, can you imagine any thing more exciting than that? Scene: A Park Mr.Josip Nad: Well, among other things, he liked running around the hallways like all the other boys. That was when he was in the lower grades of primary school, but when he reached eighth grade (the final grade of primary school in Croatia) he behaved more maturely, and he was a different person than the one he was in the fifth grade; and much taller. (The word, “Witnesses” appears on the screen. Below that we see Mr. Nað’s photo and name. A voice says: “Second witness: Visnjic’s primary school teacher.”) Nad: He was a solid pupil. His average grade was 4 (“B” - in Croatian schools you can be evaluated with grades from 1-5 where 1 is the lowest, and 5 the highest grade). And he liked sports and acting. By that time he had already started to show a keen interest in the recital group, acting group and so on. Visnjic: (they obviously asked him to comment on that statement) Well, what can I say, you can see the results standing right here before you. Nad: He was good at Croatian and literature, geography, history and physical education, but not so good at mathematics, physics, chemistry and sometimes English. Visnjic: Classic situation, when you need something then you force yourself to learn it! So when I realized that I needed English for work, then I warmed up the chair and every thing got easier. But back in school, I have to admit that I hated it …(he makes motions with his hand like he’s trying to cut his own his throat) boooriiiing! <<